360

All posts tagged 360

Xstine and I will be heading down for E3 again, so give me a call folks if you're going to be in town. We'll probably be staying at my parent's place as usual. We'll head down Wednesday night and be back up Saturday night.

I've never gone to E3 for a console launch, which is what I'm hoping this time will be. I dearly want to see the Wii and the somewhat want to see the PS3 in action. So far, current-gen X360 games have failed to impress, mainly due to poor and rushed art direction than raw horsepower, but I fully expect that to change soon. Gears of War should be there, and possibly Halo 3, giving our American Ford-Focused console a boost in mileage.

I'll be sure bring my camera to try to capture the idiocies, geniuses, and spectrum defiances that happens in Kentia Hall. Unlike when I was Taiwan, I will probably have a harder time capturing a ghost on film… the Phantom is teh bust. But one can mock hope.

The funny thing is that E3 won't be the most exciting thing of the trip. That honor goes to my intention to do 120mph down the 5 at night in our new G35 while simultaneously thinking of insurance and loan payments. In fact, someone should invent a real driving sim with those realities built into a paranoia meter on the edge of the screen, with reckless driving fueling you with adrenaline and a screaming gal in the passenger seat. Zoom zoom zoom capoeira wants to zoom.

If Guitar Hero 2 is there, however, I won't be coming back. :headbang:

What has the world come to? Have the freemasonry realized the jeopardy their New World Order stands on with the legs given them by Dr. Uwe Boll? To borrow a thread from Tycho, has the modern corporate Columbus discovered new testicles at a time when the diminishing returns of recycled licenses has begun to kill the host?

Dan "Shoe" Hsu reamed Peter Moore in the ass in his Xbox 360 interview, with all the questions gamers really want to know (a.k.a. forum flamebait) coming out a less serviceable mouth of reputable video-game journalism, an industry of ill-repute. Bravo, but encore.

Then, out of the fog, the Silent Hill movie trailer reared up to give us a fright. A game movie that actually looks, feels, sounds, and tastes like a game turned into a movie and not just projectile bulimia from clueless Hollywood mamasans? Is this what Twin Earth feels like?

And then, to top it all off, Disney bought Pixar. Without Eisner on the chair. With Roy back in the fold. Lasseter as Chief Creative Officer. Steve Jobs on the Board of Directors where hopefully there aren't enough lestats in the room to drain the impressive showman of his stamina. Does this mean Disney will stop putting out shallow myths with marketable characters and grandly wrapping said animation around music videos to shamelessly deem par with the disney quality of days of Eeyore? Does this mean… dare I say it… a conscience for creative accountability has been established?

Keep an eye on your happy meal, the fate of mankind rests in these greasy, shifting hands.

The joke keeps getting told, but despite all predictions, it has not gotten funnier. The hype-factory that keeps dry-humping what it perceives to be hip young media coverage hasn't stopped touting the holy hyphenation of "Next-Gen" long enough to tell us what has taken that mantle that is actually, pardon my Korean, fucking fun for godsakes. I can't pretend that the dive down the Uncanny Valley is a rollercoaster of hardyparty.

I had my doubts, as probably most people did, but the Nintendo DS still managed to sell out in Japan, and now the redundant Gameboy Micro is picking up too. This ugly, gaudy, gimmicky device really hauled a tactile ass. Phoenix Wright is out-of-stock says Capcom. Any objections? HD-DVD add-on for the XBox 360? Are you fuckin' smokin'? How about a penis attachment for the sleek pimp that drew too quick? The sex they're selling sure feels granny.

What is it that separates Nintendo rehashed games from the rehashed games of every other system? I can't quite place my finger on it, other than the fact that a 5-yr old could tell ya Mario World to Mario Sunshine is a bigger koopa hop than Splinter Cell A, B, and C. What should worry the other big boys is that the Big N has started to work on its greatest flaw… stubbornness. I don't get it, but I keep underestimating them along with everyone else. Given the popularity of Geometry Wars and Hexic, I predict Revolution to be a shameless smash. Brothers. Online. Please. For. The. Love. Of. Gawd.

And with that, my quota for taking deities in vain has been filled for the day.

I know this picture gives the geek inside you the chills…

That's right, the X-Men 3 teaser is out. It's very good. I can't wait to hear Vinnie Jones quip "You can call me Juggy if it makesh ya happy." I had my doubts, but this one looks like a heck of a lotta fun, even without Bishop (HOW CAN THEY NOT HAVE BISHOP). I was playing the X-Men Legends 2 on Xbox and he was pure badassery with a melee build, smokin' even Juggs and Kurt. I think Xstine would have played it with me if they had White Queen and made the menu screen much less painful, but I'm sure that wouldn't have sat well with feminazi's world wide. The menu screen I mean. 😉

Speaking of the Xbox, here's neat side-by-side screenshot comparison survey of the Xbox and the 360. Very interesting. I also saw Dan's 360 last night and I've got to say, Kameo is as frikkin' sweet as Perfect Dark is a big, sad zero. Enemies seem to need a couple minutes to check their watch and contemplate Nietzsche when you headshot them, punctuating their pain with a hilarious "Crap!" followed by a parenthetical "Dude!" Kameo, on the other hand, looks like a real launch title: it's gorgeous, well animated, has rich characters, and doesn't abuse the normal maps past the bounds of good taste. I got the giddy feeling I got at first touch with Bonk and Super Mario Bros.

"Charlize Theron has her Oscar. Now she has her Catwoman."– David Frese

This movie's relationship to the animation that inspired it is the equivalent of the relationship between the Fight Club game and the Fight Club movie. Peter Chung's Aeon Flux was a psychonanalytical vignette of action movie cliches. This vacuous movie, then, is a two hour din caused by the infinite whiffing sound of what modern man amended to the metrosexual moral code- the "missing the goddamn point" effect. It's as if someone directed a videogame based movie on the intellectual property and cheat codes listed at GameFAQS alone. I'm sorry, it's already been done. I'm sorry, it hasn't STOPPED being done.

So I'm kinda pissed at this triumvirate approach. Film, game, comic/book. The loss in intramedium translation is endemic to entertainment, who as an industry seem to think entertaining entails keeping costumes but culling characters. Unfortunately, given the longer and more prestigious history of film, it is videogames that suffer the stigma. It sure doesn't help when only 3 of 18 the XBox 260 launch titles are sequels, remakes, or otherwise unoriginal. Which is already a far better track record than EA, who defines the gaming mainstream.

Is it any surprise that there is such a clamor for cheaper games? In the past eight years, the game industry has grown 120% in sales, but only the top 5% (80 titles a year) turn a profit, and Lord Voldemorte puts most of those out. After even inflation, why aren't games cheaper? Development costs have soared, of course, countering all the advancements in the ease of making games compared to the yesteryear. And for what? Market saturation of sequentially sequelized sequels that either emulate or get emulated on celluloid by ever more virtual casts. Koyaanisqatsi. I fear for our gaming future. Why hasn't AI changed since Wolfenstein?

On a side note, DO NOT install the Google desktop tool. It (and tools like it) in combination with an updated IE will open your computer up to abuse and exploitation.

Pat Morita aka Mr. Miyagi passed away. He probably did for karate what Bruce Lee did for kung fu. And that is to say, lead dumb fat Americans to be better at it than the asians. But hey, that's the asian's perogative to be prideful to the point of self-damaging. Every time I hear the phrase "sleeping Dragon" to describe China I just laugh at what is actually a drugged up Chimera flopping mid-air on borrowed time, borrowed money.

I was reading some criticism about Richard Duncan's excellent book The Dollar Crisis, and some guy comments that Duncan is wrong, Chinese banks do NOT use the national surplus as criteria for credit expansion. So I did a little research. That's right, they do not. BUT! Criteria for credit expansion is set by the STATE, and the commies can tell their banks to do whatever they want, and I'm sure the state uses the surplus as a sign of more credit. To say chinese banks are more cognizant of the problems that led to Japan's downfall is probably right. To say chinese banks are therefore less corrupt and in a better position is WRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONG.

But I'm ok. I just recieved my Everbank papers and have dumped significant funds into the Marketsafe S&P and Gold Bullion certificates. Everbank, btw, has been excellent so far, with customer service easy to reach and a personal letter from the CEO who's vision and distrust of the Federal Reserve matches mine. They are an excellent hedging solution, the only bad thing I can see is the bewilderingly pisspoor webpage design.

Phoenix Wright awaits. BTW, if you bought an XBox 360, be aware that it can scratch up your games. I also just met a guy last nite who's friend was the one that posted the shots of 360 crashes. Rumors abound on how high failure rate is (he claimed 15% but that's hard to believe), but no one should be surprised since this happens with nearly every hardware launch. I would have gotten one myself probably if Joanna Dark didn't look like a rap-rocker now.

Xbox 360 is apparently out today. I heard armed robbers attempted to steal one from Gamestop. They were probably foiled by the paralyzing enormity of the dark matter AC brick, although they should have realized they would have been impervious had they used it as a riot shield in a shoot-out with the cops.

On the complete other end of the gaming spectrum is the Phantom, which was recently abandoned by original Xbox main man Kevin Bacchus. See, instead of answering internet critiques with lawsuits, they should have answered with a product. Jack Thompson should join their team, he's proven there is something more virtual than the intrarweb's cosmic jelly where [H]ard|OCP and Penny Arcade float thru. FETALLY float thru.

But whatever, we knew the Phanthompson force was going nowhere. We just didn't know at what physics-defying speed it was hurtling towards that nowhere barrier. Imagine if it collided with an incredibly dense matter of pure gaming power, like the 360's AC brick, at the point where nowhere becomes somewhere. The universe would explode. The resulting anti-matter signatures would linger into our old age as we recount the Wild Wild West of turn-of-the-century console gaming.

My fingers hurt like hell, fucking hammer-ons.