All posts tagged contest

Yep, made it into the 10,000 finalists. I cautiously unscrewed the cryptex they sent me and a scroll in it told untold secrets. Lemme tell you what DaVinci's code really deciphers into. When placed in front of a mirror, his text actually reads:

"Yon asinine chump whosoever participates in the corroborated evil of the cults of Google and Sony to crack this life's work encoded shall, by a portion greater than the Golden Ratio, be taxed on the fruits of his divination and persistence. I've scientifically derived an estimate of $128,170.54 per prize, leaving the foolish quester one fucked-up 1099 upon returning to the US from the kingdoms of Britannia and Avignon, France. Preparest thou eBay account should thou find what ye seek."

Fuck sweepstakes tax, just give me cash.