The joke keeps getting told, but despite all predictions, it has not gotten funnier. The hype-factory that keeps dry-humping what it perceives to be hip young media coverage hasn't stopped touting the holy hyphenation of "Next-Gen" long enough to tell us what has taken that mantle that is actually, pardon my Korean, fucking fun for godsakes. I can't pretend that the dive down the Uncanny Valley is a rollercoaster of hardyparty.
I had my doubts, as probably most people did, but the Nintendo DS still managed to sell out in Japan, and now the redundant Gameboy Micro is picking up too. This ugly, gaudy, gimmicky device really hauled a tactile ass. Phoenix Wright is out-of-stock says Capcom. Any objections? HD-DVD add-on for the XBox 360? Are you fuckin' smokin'? How about a penis attachment for the sleek pimp that drew too quick? The sex they're selling sure feels granny.
What is it that separates Nintendo rehashed games from the rehashed games of every other system? I can't quite place my finger on it, other than the fact that a 5-yr old could tell ya Mario World to Mario Sunshine is a bigger koopa hop than Splinter Cell A, B, and C. What should worry the other big boys is that the Big N has started to work on its greatest flaw… stubbornness. I don't get it, but I keep underestimating them along with everyone else. Given the popularity of Geometry Wars and Hexic, I predict Revolution to be a shameless smash. Brothers. Online. Please. For. The. Love. Of. Gawd.
And with that, my quota for taking deities in vain has been filled for the day.