news

All posts tagged news

Hurray! I realized today I've hit my fashionable 101st post for this blog, something I didn't think I'd have persistence to do when I first started. To date, there has been some 25300+ visits, but the few hundred who visit these days rarely leave comments. Leave some comments! I love being told to stop making up bullshit, don't be shy you voyeurs out there.

I figure a good way to celebrate is to link to this new HD trailer for UT2k7, which I am waiting for with drool deluging my digits as I type. The music, the explosions, the utter shameless teenage action it's replete with so saturated in the series' trademark gaudy technicolor arenas, it's all enough to make a grown boy cry. Xstine and I were total AS-Convoy whores, having played enough assault to navigate the game blind. UT2k7 is to FPS's what Children of Bodom and Kataklysm are to metal, so you snobs can fuck off, and you newbs can stick with Halo. Seriously, if you're going to turn a tech demo into a game, do it right (ahem… DEAD RISING… cough). Although I got to admit, shoving a showerhead into a zombie to get it to rain blood was pretty darn funny.

Besides this trailer, news from the Leipzig Games Conference in Germany also brought word of Battalion Wars 2 for the Wii… with multiplayer/co-op online! Basically, we're talking online Advance Wars. Utterly sick.

So which do you want first? Too bad, adherent to my title, you get bad first.

THE BAD NEWS!

Nintendo Revolution's official name is…. get this… get ready…

Wii

Pronounced "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." I hope this is more along the lines of their semi-official names like Nintendo Ultra and Nintendo Nitro. I have a feeling it is, and will change, but darn it do they have to do this to us every E3? I'm mad hyped up on the Rev, and this was a major downer, on the level of bucket-of-cold-water-on-the-penis-at-4-am. I would rather it be called the Nintendo Revolutionary Pwnage Masheen. That way we could acronymically dub it the RPM and splash its adds with hot biker chicks with sleazy cleavage easing kids into a round of motion-sensing bitchslaps wi-fi wifey-style.

The RPM. $299. Harley not included. I liiiiike it. I do not like Wii. I will not play on my Nintendo World-war-two. Please give me a name that doesn't make me buy a 360.

THE GOOD NEWS! :hat:

Xstine and I have added a new member to our family! After much pregnant discussion and hours of labor, the stork delivered to us a beautiful…

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

baby '04 Infiniti G35 with a shock of desert gold trim, weighing in at a healthy ton, and with a slap on its ass she gave us a vivacious engine cry from 0-60 mph. Though exhausted, we immediately celebrated by going out and and buying bags of power bars and canned food to mitigate our next five years of debt.

Incidentally, in the process of buying this car, I found out what happened to my stolen Maxima. Doing a credit report to figure out why my excellent credit score was being rejected by online leasing sites, I noticed a strange collection notice. I immediately called this nefarious collection agency up and they told me they represented a towing company. Apparently my innocent Maxima was parked illegally and towed away. The towing company now wants me to foot towing, impound, and DMV transfer fees for when they SOLD MY CAR.

Ha ha. I told them straight-up what a fuckin' scam. How about I start my own yard, steal cars, and then after a few days charge people impound fees to get it back.

Well I later called back to let them know that according to my lawyer, vehicle code section 14602.6 stipulates in no uncertain terms that should they pursue me to a small-claims court, either they will lose when I show my police report, or they will win, but wherein I am still only liable for but half the impound fees since I wasn't contacted within two days. The net amount would earn them about $68 from me. And that's without me countersuing them for selling off a ~$2000 car for $625. The collection agency whined! But sir! We don't think you'd win! Do you REALLY REALLY CROSS YOUR HEART AND HOPE TO DIE HAVE A POLICE REPORT?! Why yes I fuckin' do. I gently suggested they might be in collusion with their client.

We'll see how this tale unfolds, but I don't see my wallet with a mouthful of Oakland cock. Never again.