Phantom

All posts tagged Phantom

Stock markets have taken quite a plunge in the last few days, its biggest drop in three years. The combination of a backlash against commodity speculation, profit taking, and the inability of the Fed to stop rate hikes has really put the hurt on investors without the nerve to stay. My advice at the moment is to stick with companies with profits in strengthening currencies, and costs in the weakening dollar. Rate hikes will pause in the short run, rise in the long, especially with the yuan breaking the 8 RMB/$ barrier and the yen fluctuating at the 110 border.

Despite the hubbub of E3, seems like the market has not been kind to game companies. Wedbush Morgan insinuates we're already at a plateau in the game industry, with apparent gains from console sales actually only coming from people buying two consoles. In other words, market penetration is not up to snuff. Atari, fer instance, is clinging desperately to its AD&D license. The only thing they've got left is Call A Friend.

What was up to snuff, and by snuff I mean the film variety, not the 'baccy, was the horrifying crash and burn the Phantom Console with the departure of Kevin Bacchus and the catch-in-the-act of ex-CEO Timothy Roberts, who allegedly faxed unbacked promises for Infinium stock to drum up the price. The SEC replied with "BOOYAH!" Did I not tell people to stay away from this fictitious fiction of a company? Anyone get it on tape? 'Cuz that's snuff.

Let's hear what Guitar Hero babe has to show say.

Xbox 360 is apparently out today. I heard armed robbers attempted to steal one from Gamestop. They were probably foiled by the paralyzing enormity of the dark matter AC brick, although they should have realized they would have been impervious had they used it as a riot shield in a shoot-out with the cops.

On the complete other end of the gaming spectrum is the Phantom, which was recently abandoned by original Xbox main man Kevin Bacchus. See, instead of answering internet critiques with lawsuits, they should have answered with a product. Jack Thompson should join their team, he's proven there is something more virtual than the intrarweb's cosmic jelly where [H]ard|OCP and Penny Arcade float thru. FETALLY float thru.

But whatever, we knew the Phanthompson force was going nowhere. We just didn't know at what physics-defying speed it was hurtling towards that nowhere barrier. Imagine if it collided with an incredibly dense matter of pure gaming power, like the 360's AC brick, at the point where nowhere becomes somewhere. The universe would explode. The resulting anti-matter signatures would linger into our old age as we recount the Wild Wild West of turn-of-the-century console gaming.

My fingers hurt like hell, fucking hammer-ons.