All posts tagged Thompson

Xbox 360 is apparently out today. I heard armed robbers attempted to steal one from Gamestop. They were probably foiled by the paralyzing enormity of the dark matter AC brick, although they should have realized they would have been impervious had they used it as a riot shield in a shoot-out with the cops.

On the complete other end of the gaming spectrum is the Phantom, which was recently abandoned by original Xbox main man Kevin Bacchus. See, instead of answering internet critiques with lawsuits, they should have answered with a product. Jack Thompson should join their team, he's proven there is something more virtual than the intrarweb's cosmic jelly where [H]ard|OCP and Penny Arcade float thru. FETALLY float thru.

But whatever, we knew the Phanthompson force was going nowhere. We just didn't know at what physics-defying speed it was hurtling towards that nowhere barrier. Imagine if it collided with an incredibly dense matter of pure gaming power, like the 360's AC brick, at the point where nowhere becomes somewhere. The universe would explode. The resulting anti-matter signatures would linger into our old age as we recount the Wild Wild West of turn-of-the-century console gaming.

My fingers hurt like hell, fucking hammer-ons.