He's rippin', he's trippin', he's… bomberman? WTF? This is what the little guy turned into after climbing into the lowered cadillac of American machismoism, the graffiti'd wasteland of the Xbox 360 Live?

Still, I miss the blank stare of the original, a gaze that hid a lust for ultraviolence into a cute, pop-iconic package of ultimate destruction. I'll still own any fool in this game, steroids or not.

Domo arigato, ya fucked up roboto.